So You're Not Surprised
by rj1ofakind
Summary: Ryo is relunctant to talk about his parents to Dee. As Dee tries to figure out why, he gets a little help from family. Set after Vol. 7.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I did not create the lovely characters of the 27th precinct, Sanami Matoh did too much of a brilliant job. I just wanna play. Also, as a warning, rough language, sexual situations, and gayness. No homophobes reading this please. Huge thank you to my beta reader Totally4Ryo, and for the encouragement. Here's your Yule present. Enjoy.

So you're not surprised

Innocent Conversation 

Dee rushed into the conference room at the 27th precinct, prepared to be blasted by Chief Smith for being late. The only person there was his partner. Breathing a sigh of relief, he took in the sight of Ryo looking over a file at the table.

"If you'd been on time this morning, you'd have known the meeting got delayed by thirty minutes. Now your right on time" Ryo didn't even bother looking up from the file.

"I would have been on time but someone kept me up late last night." Dee turned his gaze to the rest of Ryo's body. Ryo looked up at this comment and smiled. Dee melted; Ryo was gorgeous. Chestnut brown hair, pale skin, long lithe body and amazing dark brown eyes, and this man loved him. He was finally his and with no Bikky for two more days, Dee was expecting another late night. After waiting for two years, this man had admitted that he loved Dee. He couldn't keep the smile from his face.

Just as Ryo was about to speak, the motley crew that made up the CI department of the 27th precinct entered the room. "Who brought doughnuts?" Drake, a slim brunette man, asked loudly as he pushed pass Dee.

"It's you turn, Parker," Ted grumbled, the lanky red head grabbing a seat far away from the marker board. "I guess that means none today."

A large black man sat down next to Ted, his partner. "Hey, Dee what's up? You're smiling and it's morning?" Dee scowled slightly at Marty's comment. He had to get this under control.

"No J.J., no bruises," Dee quipped, that in itself was a good reason to smile, as he made his way to a seat next to Ryo.

"He's on his way," Drake warned, dropping into one of the empty seats left. Dee tried to scowl again, but he had just caught Ryo looking at him.

"What'd you'd finally get laid or something?" Ted smiled at the beginning of a game of get to Dee. "Oh wait, that's right, I remember, you decided to stop dating." Ted looked over at Drake who was rolling his eyes. He continued, "What's it been two years, since we've heard of any dating from you?"

Drake snorted. "Like I'd believe Dee Laytner hasn't gotten laid in over two years. You've just stop giving details. Come on, what gives?"

"Maybe I'm practicing becoming a monk." Dee casually said, letting the digs slide.

Ryo, who had just taken a sip of his coffee, choked. "Ryo you okay?" Ted asked in concern. Looking back at Dee, Ted continued Drake's inquiry. "See Ryo doesn't even believe you. What, you tell him all the juicy details, but we're not good enough anymore?"

"Look, just because you don't have a girlfriend at the moment and need my life to fantasize about, doesn't mean you're getting it." Dee tried deflecting the interrogation. "Hey Ryo, why don't you go out with me and **you** can tell everyone all the juicy details."

"Yeah right. If Ryo ever decides to go out with you, then I'm gay too, and will go out with JJ." Drake smirked at the thought, feeling rather safe.

"Well **now** you just have to go on a date with me, Ryo – I would get you and a bruise free life. And it's bi." Dee shifted back in his chair, stretching his long legs in front of him.

Ryo appeared to be thinking this over while covertly stealing a glance at his partner. His long muscular body, dark olive skin, contrasting against dark hair and those brilliant green eyes that held a challenge to them right now. All that was Ryo's now, God had he been dense. "Seeing JJ out on a date with Drake, I'll think about it."

"Funny Maclean, real funny." Drake growled back at him.

"Speaking of sex, I got a great story about my nephew the other day." Ted piped in.

Marty interrupted, "Wait, I thought he was like 13."

"Yeah, he is. Just shut up for a moment and listen," Ted sighed. "Anyway, they were doing some type of play at his church, and during the performance, bam, his first hard on. I almost died laughing when my sister told me that. Oh God, that would have been horrible, thank god mine was at night. But that didn't stop a few embarrassing moments."

"What about you, Laytner?" Drake zoned in on Dee again.

"Why are you all so enthralled by my sex life?" Dee waited but all eyes stayed on him, included he noted Ryo's. "Fine," Dee stated with exasperation, "almost 14, while making out with a girl named Betty Jo in the sanctuary after mass." Dee grinned. "Scared the crap out of her"

"14, wow, I would have thought you'd started around 11 or 12." Ted exclaimed chuckling.

"Whatever," Dee tried to wave it off

"I guess Sister Lane had already talked to you about the birds and the bees, huh?" Drake continued the pick on Dee game.

"Yes, and they are very painful memories that you all are making me relive. So shut up already." Dee's voice became a growl of warning.

J.J.'s petite form came in at that moment joining them at the conference table. "Is someone bothering my Mr. Wonderful?" His slivery blond hair swaying as he bounced into a seat.

"My nephew got his first hard on during a church program, he was in," Ted explained as they all ignored the name for Dee.

"Ouch," JJ interrupted before Ted could finish.

"Now we're all sharing."

"Oh, that's easy. Wet dream, sixth grade, night that Mark Fenster slept over. Gawd, he was cute." J.J. paused for a breath before wiggling his eyebrows at Dee. "Of course not as cute as you would have been at that age, Dee, you stud muffin."

Dee mumbled a "whatever" as everyone else rolled their eyes.

"I think I got a little hard when we were wrestling earlier in the night. But I thought I'd just rubbed myself the wrong way. Well I was wrong about that. It was most definitely the right way." J.J. looked dreamily up at the ceiling.

"Sixth grade," Drake exclaimed, "what were you 12 or something?"

"Yeah about then," J.J. said with a shrug. "Mom says I was an early bloomer. So whose story did I miss?"

"Just Dee's," Ted commented to catch him up to speed.

"Oh, I've heard that before." J.J. looked at Ryo smugly. "Okay who's next?" and turned his gaze at Ted.

Ryo was suddenly very glad to not be the next victim, because J.J.'s story had made him remember his own first erection after seeing James, a friend of his mother, and James' boyfriend of the month, making out. Had he blocked that from his mind? James had been around as long as Ryo could remember. He had always thought James was funny. A little weird, but funny. And he would say anything, even in front of Ryo what other adults would not. Ryo remembered his Mom and Dad arguing about James coming over, but James' family wouldn't talk to him so Ryo's family in someway had adopted him. During Ryo's musing, he had apparently missed Ted's experience and everyone was looking at him.

"I'm not drunk enough to be in this conversation." A blush came to Ryo's cheeks.

"Come on dude – we share, you share," Ted cajoled, trying to get the story.

"I don't remember signing up for group therapy," Ryo remarked dryly. That got a chuckle from everyone, Dee winking at him.

Chief Smith, large stocky frame filled the doorway at that moment, causing Dee to laugh. "Saved by the walrus, Ryo."

The chief smacked Dee on the back of the head as he passed.

"Okay, the Thompson case" Chief Smith began the meeting.

* * *

Ryo was snuggled up against Dee on his couch watching some movie, when he contemplated calling his aunt. It was Wednesday and he always tried to call once a week to let her know he was safe. He wanted to figure out how to get together with her and Rick without raising her suspicions. Probably never happening, but Ryo didn't want to tell her about his new relationship with Dee over the phone. Ryo had even pulled his chest up to tell Dee he was about to get up so they could untangle from each other. But Dee had looked at him with that smile on his face and Dee's lips were so close – so he leaned in to kiss those soft lips. 

He did manage to pull away from the kiss, but Dee was looking up at him again. Hands were roaming under his shirt, over his back muscles, and Dee looked needy? Could that be right? Ryo could only stare back and then had to do something about the silent plea in Dee's eyes. Ryo trailed his lips down Dee's neck as he heard a gasp, he felt the sharp contraction of Dee's muscles against his chest and a rub of hardness that made him groan as Dee arched into him. The call would have to wait.

Two days later, Ryo was just putting a casserole into the oven for Dee and his dinner when the phone rang.

"MacLean residence." Ryo was still on call for the next thirty minutes, and was praying this was not the precinct.

"Ryo, thank god you're okay," a feminine voice sounded over the phone with apparent relief.

"Elena, hi." Ryo's mind was spinning – it was Friday, shit he had forgotten to call.

"Everything is okay, right? Because you didn't call me Wednesday. You're normally like clockwork." Ryo heard the concern and felt guilt tug his conscience at his current forgetfulness.

"Uh yeah, things are fine. Sorry about worrying you, I've been busy." Ryo was glad his aunt could not see his blush from remembering what he had been busy doing.

"That's fine, sweetie. It's not a requirement. I was just a tad worried something might have happened. They don't report everything on the news." Ryo listened to the relief in Elena's voice. He tried hard to call every week at the same time so she wouldn't worry, so the guilt deepened.

"I am sorry, and no nothings wrong," Ryo smiled. Thinking of just how right things had been this week, he glanced at the bathroom door and listened to the sound of the shower. The thought that maybe he would join Dee after he finished talking to Elena, strayed past Ryo's mind.

"Ryo?" Elena's voice pulled his mind away from the shower and back to the conversation at hand.

"Sorry, I'm in the middle of making dinner, but anyway, I just lost track of the week, since Bikky's been away." Ryo tried to put the guilt he felt into his voice.

"Well, if you're cooking, I won't keep you long, but I'm going to be in town for a photo shot. It's three weeks away, but I thought I'd try to plan lunch. It's been a while since we've gotten together."

"That's great." Ryo latched onto the idea; he could tell her about Dee then. Now he wouldn't have to try and invent a reason for her to meet with him. Although he wished Rick would be there as well but he didn't want to wait. If he waited he might begin finding excuses not to say anything. "Why don't we meet at our usual place? We can figure out a time the week of the shoot."

"Sounds like a plan. I was trying to get Rick to . . ." Ryo heard the bathroom door open and glanced back at the noise. Ryo continued to hear Elena in the background, but could not have told anyone what she was saying. His mind was too filled with a very wet and steamy Dee, wrapped in nothing more than a damp towel.

Dee noticed that he had Ryo's attention and sauntered over toward him. Ryo tried again to concentrate on the words Elena was saying. " Uh huh," Ryo hoped that he had answered correctly, but Dee was staring at him as if he were a meal Dee intended to devour. "Yeah," Ryo tried again to listen to Elena, but the dark hair devil in front of him was leaning in and ghosting a tongue around the edge of Ryo's ear. Ryo breathed in sharply.

"Ryo? Are you okay?" The slight worry in Elena's voice penetrated his hazed filled mind.

"Yeah, I'm burning something. I'll talk to you next Wednesday." Ryo tried hard not to hiss in the phone as Dee made his neck his next target.

"Sure, sure. Love ya and try not to make to much mess in the kitchen." Ryo's mind barely started to try and figure out that remark when Dee's hand made a direct path south.

"Bye Elena." Ryo grabbed Dee's head for a kiss as he dropped the receiver to the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Did not create these characters. Sanami Matoh did. I am using them for my own pleasure. Thanks again to Totally4Ryo, late night chats and all. Rough language, sexual situations, and man on man (YAY). You have been warned.

The beginning . . .

"Do you think Elena will like me?" Dee asked with a particularly innocent look on his face. Ryo would have sworn at one time that a face like that was only possible on Dee during sleep. Ryo continued to watch Dee with a smile.

"Don't worry. If I'm not, you shouldn't" Ryo voice was calm and even, but his hands were not as steady with his buttons as he would have liked.

"But you are," Dee interjected.

Ryo walked back over to Dee's bed and leaned down for a kiss. "Just a tiny bit. I was more worried about telling Bikky."

Dee chuckled, "Yeah I thought he might try and move out." Dee paused in thought, "What about your parents, would they have liked me?"

Ryo leaned over Dee and begin to nibble along his jaw line. He barely lifted his head when he spoke creating shivers along Dee's skin. "Elena's going to love you," He moved his lips to Dee's ear tracing it's edge. "Bikky likes you."

"Yeah right." Dee pushed Ryo slightly away, "the brat can't stand me."

"Dee, Bikky adores you, just like you care about him, but the most important thing is that I love you." Ryo ended the statement by attacking Dee's neck, slowly making his way down to his chest.

"You keep this up and you'll end up spending the night." Dee took in a sharp breath as Ryo's lips found a nipple. Ryo smiled at the small whimper from Dee as he stopped. A smirk crossed his face, enjoying the control over Dee for once.

"We'll set your alarm so I can make it home to wake up Bikky. I mean Diana did say something about us going at it like rabbits, and I wouldn't want to disappoint her." Ryo's smirk grew into a leer as he pushed Dee down on the bed.

"No, don't want to disappoint the sea hag," Dee breathed out before he moaned as Ryo rubbed against him.

Later Dee watched Ryo sleeping in his arms. It had been a little over a month since Ryo had said those three words. Dee was finally feeling like it wasn't all a dream; that Ryo wouldn't try and say he'd made a mistake. Looking back at Ryo, Dee decided he would wake him up in a few minutes. Ryo would feel guilty if he really did stay away all night. Dee smiled at the thought of what a devoted father Ryo was. Dee would never truly want to come in between that devotion. He must have had a great example – wait a minute. Ryo never did answer his question. How the hell did he do that? Ryo had to be the world's best at changing a subject. But why would he unless, maybe he didn't think his parents would like him. Not like it mattered; Ryo loved him. But that thought didn't keep a frown from settling on his face.

* * *

"So you're not surprised?" Ryo asked, the petite, attractive woman across the table from him. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a carefully constructed carefree style. 

"Honey, he's all you've talked about for the past 2 years. How could I be that surprised?" she countered, blue eyes twinkling back at him, as she brushed a stray hair back behind her ear. Her smile came easily as she saw Ryo visibly relax in relief.

"I mean at first, I thought great you were finally attaching yourself to people, what with Bikky living with you and Dee as a friend. But then, . . . every time I met with you, your face would light up when you talked about him. You started talking about your other co-workers, neighbors, but only Bikky or Dee would make your eyes sparkle. Back to the way they did before your parents, well . . .." Elena looked down at her salad and moved some lettuce around in the bowl. "You know, your parents would have liked him. They would have been . . ."

"Don't Elena" Ryo lowered his eyes and stared at the table.

"What . . . they would have been happy . . .."

"Elena, I know how dad would have felt. I remembered how much he hated James. I remember all the arguments about him coming to the house."

"Well he came anyway, didn't he. Oh Ryo, Frank didn't like James because he was a little faggot."

Ryo looked up sharply and glared.

Elena huffed out her annoyance but continued despite the look. "He was a bitchy drama queen and very temperamental. I remember this one party your mom had when he almost threw away all your mom's sushi away because the color was wrong with the other food. Your Mom said he had just broken up with some guy, but really, you just don't do that as a guest. And it was a big production about it . . ."

Ryo glanced back down "I … I remember that party." He allowed a small smile, "I hidin the study so I could watch everyone. I always wanted to stay awake with the adults."

Elena smiled, watching Ryo remember the past without the full shadow that use to cover his eyes.

Sighing, she took his hand that had been toying with the tablecloth. "Look, I know that you may have heard your father say some pretty mean things about James, but he loved you, Ryo. He wanted nothing more than for you to be happy."

Ryo's small smile tightened. He would not tell her about that argument. The one he had overheard about himself. He sighed and sat up a little straighter in his seat, pulling his hand away from hers. "Well I'm very happy. How about some dessert?"

Elena mentally grimaced at the fact that she did not seem to have made an impression. But Ryo was clearly done with the conversation so she would tackle it another time.

"How about we split something, a death by chocolate sort of thing?" Elena smiled, as Ryo looked more at ease realizing she was giving up on the previous topic.

"Okay, you win today. I am becoming a bigger fan of chocolate lately." Ryo slowed his movements, that last part of his comment had really been more to him than for Elena. He'd had a stray thought of the last time he had chocolate, which was a la Dee. He tried to casually look at his aunt as if the comment was completely innocent, hoping his aunt had not thought anything about it.

"I just bet you are," Elena said with a smirk. That was all it took for Ryo and the blush won out as Elena began to laugh.

"The marble chocolate cake looks good," Ryo stated trying to ignore the whole topic.

"Okay marble it is then" Elena said with a smile -- Ryo knew that look, which made him squirm in his seat a little. She was only moving on to another topic for now, because the next one could be worse.

"So when is he coming over for dinner?"

Ryo just groaned.

* * *

Dee looked up from his computer as the phone rang, "Detective Laytner speaking" 

Hearing "Dee, this is Elena", Dee faltered for a moment . . . "Um, Ryo's hasn't made it back from lunch yet?"

"I know. That was the plan. Listen I need your help with something"

"Uh okay . . ." Dee replied slowly, unsure of where he stood with this particular lady. He knew Ryo was planning on talking about the change in their relationship with her today. So what did this call mean? "How can I help?"

"Well, I won't be able to get into it all before Ryo gets there, but I need to get into Ryo's parents things"

"Why am I?" Dee started.

"Because a lot was taken into evidence after their deaths"

"How much? Why?" Even wanting more details Dee was beginning to see where this might take some planning. It was an old case, but only recently considered closed. Even if he could, Dee's wheels began to turn quickly.

"Again Ryo will be back soon. I know this is an odd way to start out in the family, but if you and I could plan a time when we could talk, face to face or on the phone?"

Dee couldn't help the smile on his face. Family.

"Um . . . how about…. " as Dee and Elena figured out a plan to talk without Ryo.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Did not create these characters. Sanami Matoh did. I am using them for my own pleasure. Thanks again to Totally4Ryo, late night chats and all. Rough language, sexual situations, and man on man (YAY). You have been warned.

. . . to a fight?

"_Shit, James we have company."_

"_Don't stop – Fuck me already!"_

_Ryo heard a moan come from James, was bent over their couch, his black curly hair falling down toward the cushions. Ryo had just gone to the kitchen to get water. When he had passed through the living room earlier, James and the new guy had been making out on the couch. That was normal. Ryo had rolled his eyes and tried to slip by unobserved. Apparently it had worked because here he was trying to cross the living room with two nearly naked men in front of him. This was not normal._

_The muscle built man standing looked in Ryo's direction with a smirk, his brown hair falling in his face . "You can stay and watch if you like. James is pass caring and I…." He stopped talking and hissed as James slender body bumped back into him. "Don't care," he grunted out and closed his eyes._

_Ryo tried to move. He tried to turn his head, close his eyes but his body refused to do anything other than stand there and watch as the man started moving back and forth against James. Then he moved his hand around James's waist. My God, he was grabbing his dick. _

_Ryo stammered as the two continued to groan and pant. Finally, as if the fact that his eyes could go no wider kicked his body out of freeze, he ran to his room. In his room, panting and trying to catch his breath, his brain tried to wrap around what he had seen. Almost calm, he took in a deep breath as the scene flashed in his mind again. What the hell, his dick was hard. _

Ryo sat up abruptly in the bed and dragged his hand over his face. He tried desperately to tell himself it was only a dream, but parts of the memory snapped into place now that he was awake. He trembled as he remembered, and then became angry with himself as he realized he was hard.

"Ryo, you okay?" Ryo heard the concern in Dee's voice. He must have yelled as he was waking up.

"I'm fine, Dee. It was just a bad dream." Ryo leaned back against the headboard and closed his eyes.

Dee raised his head up and leaned on his forearms. With a puzzled look, he quipped "I had better of not of been the bad part, and I don't want to even think about you dreaming of anyone else."

Ryo begin to blush, pulling his knees up to lean his arms on. He wished he'd been sitting like this before Dee woke up and noticed that the dream obviously turned him on. He really didn't want to explain the dream. Not now and part of him added not ever.

Since Ryo didn't reply, Dee continued. "You know I want to be the only one to turn you on, even in your dreams."

Ryo heard the smirk in Dee's voice. "Rose walked in on us at the office," was Ryo's reply. He wasn't ready to share this. He didn't even want to remember it.

Dee chuckled, "That would be a little creepy, but I'd just tell him he'd need to get lost."

"He asked to join in."

Dee yelped. "Okay now that's scary."

Ryo smiled a little and leaned back down onto his pillows. His erection was fading with the thought of Rose. He wondered if Dee really bought it, but in seeing the concern still in Dee's face, he knew better.

"Ya know, I could give you something real to help erase the dream." Dee leaned over Ryo and begin to nibble on the shell of his ear. Ryo smiled at the sweetness.

"How about holding me for awhile, and if were both still awake in a few minutes . . ." Ryo let his voice drop away as he flipped Dee, pushing him to his back. As he snuggled against Dee's chest, he felt arms tightening around him. He felt the sigh that escaped from Dee, and struggled with the guilt gnawing at him for not talking. As strong hands begin to run through his hair, Ryo almost spoke. Soon, he promised himself, not for him but for Dee. Soon.

* * *

Ryo sighed contently. Dee and Ryo were cuddled on his couch watching random channels. Bikky was out with some friends playing basketball, and Ryo for once was glad to have some time alone again with Dee. The first three months that Bikky had been back from camp, he had been around constantly. It was as if he needed to assure himself, as well as Dee, that he wasn't going anywhere. At least he had stopped attacking Dee when he saw Ryo and Dee kiss. Bikky still made plenty of snide comments, but Ryo figured that would never change. Ryo felt Dee's hands run through his hair and sighed again in contentment.

"Tell me about your parents." Dee felt Ryo tense before he had even gotten the statement out.

Ryo hesitated at what to say. "My mom would have loved you." He finally stated, the sadness evident in his voice.

"Yeah? I bet I could have charmed the socks off of her." Dee placed a kiss at Ryo's temple. "How about your dad? Would we have argued about sports teams and stuff?"

Ryo pulled away a little with his reply. "Something like that." Then he turned and pressed his lips against Dee's. Ryo lips were hard and demanding,pulling Dee's head back a little by his hair. He felt Dee's mouth open slightly and swept his tongue in to capture Dee's, sucking gently. Dee lost all coherent thought, even as Ryo pulled away to allow them to breath. "But I wouldn't have let you for long," Ryo's voice was low and husky. "I want you all your attention on me." Ryo then begin to make sure that it was.

Dee was holding Ryo, coming down from the rush. He grinned a little as he remembered how that started. He was enjoying Ryo being aggressive. His smile faded as he realized his question was again evaded. Damn, Dee decided to it was time for him to take a different route.

Ryo had just shifted and was beginning to look up at Dee.

"You never completely answered my question?" Dee's voice was soft but firm. He planned to help Ryo's avoidance issues one way or another. Dee felt Ryo's muscles tighten.

"Yes, I did," the voice was as tight as the muscles Dee felt on top of him.

"Well tell me more, learning about your parents is like learning about you." Dee smiled at this thought. But Ryo remained tense; in fact he sat up.

"Ryo, what is it?" Dee pushed himself up against the headboard, a concerned look on his face.

"Look Dee, just leave it alone. Okay?" Ryo's voice held a plea in it. He hoped Dee would just let it go.

But now Dee couldn't. "Why? Wouldn't I be good enough for your parents?" Ryo heard the vulnerability in Dee's voice.

Ryo looked away. "No Dee, it's not that it's just"

"Look Ryo," Dee interrupted, "You know all about Jesse and Penguin. I'm not expecting your parents to be perfect and it's okay if they were. I just want you to share that part of yourself with me. Is it really that hard?"

"Yes." Ryo let out a struggled breath "my parents . . . yes." Dee relented and wrapped his arms around Ryo. Dee tightened his grip as Ryo curled up to find comfort. Dee berated himself 'God why couldn't he let this go. Did it really matter if Ryo couldn't share this with Dee? Yes!' was Dee's answer to himself, but he'd tried to be patient, for Ryo.

Ryo, for his part, desperately tried to keep the past from circling in his mind.

_Ryo was in search of his Dad as he entered the house. He wasn't exactly looking forward to the talk, but he needed answers – and his dad had yet to steer him wrong. Like he was dead on about the lube stuff. Ryo had even shared that tidbit with a couple of his closer guy friends._

_Gee, this was still going to be bad. He remembered how much he blushed when his Dad went over this with him the first time. But that was at least 2 years ago and he thought he had gotten things somewhat under control. Okay, not completely but things were beginning to get embarrassing again. All he and Titus had been doing was roughhousing. Thank God it was just Ti. He just laughed it off and laughed harder when Ryo blushed. _

_So where were his parents anyway? He hoped they weren't locked in their bedroom. Bad thought. "Mom – Dad" Ryo yelled as he made his way through his house. He heard voices from their room as if the door was open, which normally meant it was safe to approach._

"_Because I said so, Yuri"_

_Ryo stopped. His Dad's voice was getting loud. Crap, they were fighting. Hopefully it wouldn't be a major blow out. Maybe his Dad had left the kitchen a mess again. Ryo leaned against the hall wall to judge whether he should interrupt or try another day. _

"_Frank, look, it shouldn't matter who he spends time with or how much. In fact it shouldn't matter if…."_

"_Don't' even say it." His father's interruption sounded fearful_

_Were they talking about him? His mom sounded really pissed. Of course, they hadn't said anything about any of his friends lately. Well there was that one rumor about Titus, but his parents certainly hadn't brought it up._

_His mom was talking too softly now. He couldn't hear what she was saying. That meant his dad was really in for it. They both joked about it as the whisper of death. He cautiously moved closer to the door to try and hear._

"_So what if he is Frank. What if come home one day and says…?"_

_His father exploded before she could finish. "Yuri, I did not raise a son of mine to be a fruit like James. I'll be damned if he is."_

_Ryo ran fast. He bolted to his room. He wasn't like James. No his hormones may be off balance and apparently his parents had heard the rumor, but it wasn't true. Ti would have said something wouldn't he?_

_Ryo grabbed his soccer ball and headed outside. He began to kick the ball against the fence, again and again. Bam! He wasn't. Bam! Kick the ball. Bam! He kicked until he was no longer thinking – just kicking the ball over and over again. When his Mom called him for dinner, he picked up the ball and briefly wondered why he'd came outside._


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Did not create these characters. Sanami Matoh did. I am using them for my own pleasure. Thanks again to Totally4Ryo, late night chats and all. Rough language, sexual situations, and man on man (YAY). You have been warned.

Dinner with Elena

Ryo was pulled into a hug before he could get the door open. "It's so good to see you. I mean it's been two months"

"Elena, try one and a half." Ryo teased returning the hug.

"And that was too long," Elena huffed out with exasperation.

"Well, I didn't." Rick interjected. The tall man put his arm around Ryo in a brief hug, "How are you?"

Ryo was only given time to smile in reply before his aunt pulled him close. "So, where is he?"

"I sent Dee out to pick up some bread. I thought you might get some of the embarrassing things out of the way." Ryo drawled out as if seeing the fruitlessness of his planning.

"Not likely," Rick was quick to interject, but received a sharp glare from his wife. The glare changed with lightening speed as Bikky came charging in the living room.

"Hey Bikky." Elena also pulled the boy into a tight hug, which Bikky made some show of trying to get out of. However the smile on his face betrayed his intentions.

"How've you been, Biks?" Rick patted Bikky on the back.

"Okay," he replied with a shrug. "Just hangin' – you know summer stuff, playing some hoops, skating in the park, usual stuff"

"If you'd like, maybe we can convince Ryo to let you come and stay a weekend with us?" Elena winked at Bikky conspiratorially and ruffled his blonde hair.

"And let you spoil him rotten?" Ryo raised his eyebrows.

"I might to get away from those two." Bikky looked over at Ryo. "Just wait till the perv gets back. They can't stay two feet away from each other."

"Bikky." Ryo shot a warning look as Bikky scowled at the slip.

The typical "Whatever" came from Bikky, but his eyes seemed glued to the floor.

"Perv?" Elena looked at Ryo confused as he ushered her further into the room.

"It's a nickname of sorts" Ryo stumbled with the words trying to find a short explanation. "Dee and Bikky, have a unique way of communicating"

"Yeah, we don't," Bikky shot back.

"Except when **you** want to play basketball, video games, get pizza or burgers instead of what I can cook here" Ryo's tone caused Bikky to scowl again. But before the ever ready 'whatever' could slip out "And as I recall you both agreed to keep that unique way to a minimum tonight."

"Fine", Bikky scowled and headed to the couch.

"Let me lock the door" Ryo chuckled at Bikky's momentary defeat while he went back to the door. As the lock slipped closed, the interrogation began.

"So you don't need to leave the door open for Dee? Does that mean he already has his own key?" Elena grabbed Ryo by the arm and pulled him toward the table. All Ryo could do was blush and shake his head.

Elena had found a seat in the kitchen, while Rick made Ryo give him a job and laughed at his wife's attempts at interrogation. She had little luck in getting anything other than blushes. Bikky had peeked his head in early on, but after hearing one of Elena's questions, escaped to his room with a TMI comment. Ryo began to relax with the comfort of Elena's habit of picking on him and found himself laughing at the most outrageous ones. All had just been laughing at the last try of prying into his sex life and missed hearing the lock open.

"Hey, I'm back," Dee yelled out, as he opened the door.

"Good God, Ryo. I knew you had good taste, but wow." Elena looked over Dee as if appraising art.

"I take it that is a good thing?" Dee raised an eyebrow at the petite woman and gave what Ryo had called "the smile."

"Elena," Rick cleared his throat. "Dear, your husband is standing right here and I thought the point of this get together was because he is taken."

"Very taken," Ryo piped in, startling himself at the statement. But Dee turned his eyes to him and his smile softened. Suddenly, Ryo knew it was the perfect thing to say.

"But, really, have you ever thought of modeling . . ." as Elena set off on her own agenda of conversation.

* * *

"So we had spent two hours looking for him, expecting him to be terrified that he was lost." Elena was elated to be able to tell stories about Ryo. They had finished dinner and had moved to the living room. Bikky had actually stayed and was just as enthralled with Elena's tales as Dee was. "But no, instead we saw him walking around a shop near one of the rides we had last been at. Just looking around as if he hadn't a care in the world. It took all I had not to just throttle him right then and there. I mean, here I was, seventeen, trying to prove to my big brother that I could take care of their angel all by myself, I loss him and he didn't even notice he was lost." Elena looked at Ryo with exasperation. Her face fell for a brief instance, before returning to its normal devastating smile. Her blue eyes remained sadden.

Dee in particular noticed because he felt the tension in Ryo beside him. Curiosity got the better of him, letting him ignore the warning signs. "So what did his parents do when they found out?"

"You know I don't even remember," Elena replied, looking as if trying to remember. Dee's instinct nibbled at him that this was a lie. But feeling Ryo relax again, Dee let it go.

"You know Dee, this is where I give the you-had-better-treat-him-right speech." Elena smiled at Dee, as her face lightened up again.

"Don't worry, Aunt Elena, I already told him I'd . . .." Whatever Bikky would do was cut short by a glare from Ryo.

"Well, just so you know, I know how to shoot a rifle, and though I'm not Ryo, I won't miss what I'll be aiming for."

Bikky howled at this statement.

"Elena," Ryo groaned and put his face in his hands, wondering if this night of 'how much can we embarrass Ryo' would ever end.

Rick added with a wink, "I wouldn't test her on that, I've seen her shoot."

"Relax, Ryo." Dee was chuckling. "She just realizes how hot I am, and is showing her support at keeping everyone else at a distance."

"Mother didn't feel the need to threaten me when we told her," Ryo complained, trying to find a way to gain an ally in something for the night.

"Dude, she's a nun. She does it all through guilt." Dee gave an exaggerated sigh. "Well, except with me. Guilt never did work on me."

"Still doesn't," Ryo quipped, as everyone chuckled at Dee trying to look innocent.

"Same to you Ryo," Rick stated, "I like this guy, and I can tell Elena does too. So treat him right – got it."

"Yeah, yeah. I got it." Ryo couldn't keep the smile off of his face and surprised himself when he leaned against Dee, letting Dee put his arm around him. 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Did not create these characters. Sanami Matoh did. I am using them for my own pleasure. Thanks again to Totally4Ryo, late night chats and all. Rough language, sexual situations, and man on man (YAY). You have been warned.

To those who reviewed, thank you for the kind words.

The Big One

_"So Ryo, we noticed you passed by our room earlier."_

_"Yeah, I just ran in to get my ball." Ryo's reply was directed at the window. As he chanced a glance at his father, he almost let out a sigh of relief to see his Dad looking at his trophies. _

"_We were arguing and I said some things I didn't mean," his Dad paused to breathe in, "I just wanted to make sure you didn't misinterpret anything you might have heard." His dad paused and looked back at Ryo._

_"I didn't hear anything." Ryo gave a shrug, trying to act unaffected. "I didn't even realize you guys were in there." Ryo's heart raced, hoping he would buy into it. "So, um, you guys okay and all that – about the argument, whatever it was about?" Crap, he had almost forgotten to act somewhat nosey - like he was out of the loop._

_"Yeah, don't worry," his Dad smiled over at him. "Your mother set me straight." Frank's voice cracked at the word, but he didn't look he wanted to bolt. "Hey you know – no matter what, your mother and I love you?"_

_"Sure Dad, of course I know that." Ryo was impressed with how strong his voice sounded with each of his first lies._

"Ryo? Ryo?"

"Oh sorry, Dee, I was just stuck in a memory. Elena always brings memories with her." Hearing the sadness in Ryo's voice, Dee walked over to him and put his arms around Ryo's waist. He debated bringing up the topic on his mind with Ryo in this mood, while nibbling on the pale neck. Dee decided to forge ahead, he was not going to begin avoiding things like Ryo.

"So how come you won't let Elena and Rick talk about your parents in front of me?" Dee asked softly.

Ryo's voice had an edge of worry "Dee, its not…."

"All last night you would change the topic when it came to them," Dee interrupted before Ryo could deflect the conversation. Dee tried to keep his voice soft, inquiring. Dee was determined not to let this topic go again. He pulled away from Ryo gently to look into his eyes. The anger he saw there was a surprise.

"I did not. Elena told you all kinds of stories about my childhood." Ryo moved across the room feeling irked, that Dee couldn't leave his parents alone. He tried to lighten the mood and forced a smile "Some of which I doubt are true because I don't remember them."

"About you yes. Your parents, no. They're like a forbidden topic? Why?" Dee sounded confused.

Ryo stared. He felt trapped again. He couldn't tell Dee that his father would have hated him and that his relationship with Dee would be the reason his father would have disowned him. But for some reason, Ryo had never been able to lie to Dee, without him seeing through it. But he still couldn't tell Dee that his parents wouldn't have cared. Apparently no answer was not good enough.

"Why don't you trust me with your past - your parents - who they were?" Dee's voice was getting loud.

"This isn't a trust issue, Dee," Ryo tried to redirect the conversation.

"Like hell it isn't, I ca . . .."

"Dee, just leave it alone." Ryo's famous glare shot to Dee, his words were heavy and forced. Dee refused to back down.

"No Ryo. No, why don't you want me to know about your parents?"

Ryo continued to glare – his lips thin and tight. He made a move to leave the room.

Dee snapped, "What are they too God damned sacred to share with me? Am I not good enough to know about what wonderful people they were? Shit." Dee rubbed his hand over his face. He walked toward Ryo and went for what he thought was the root of the problem "I think I could handle it if they wouldn't have liked me Ryo, I…."

"Shut the fuck up!" Ryo spun around with his hand raised in a fist as he spoke but caught himself. His voice was shaken in part from anger in part from his unconscious action. "You know nothing about my parents," he gritted out.

Dee ignored the hand; they had to discuss this. "Because you won't tell me!" He put heavy emphasis on each word, as it came out barely refraining from pointing his finger towards Ryo's chest with each one.

"I don't have time for this." Ryo turned to walk away again dismissing the argument.

"God damn it Ryo." Dee ran his hand through his hair again to try and regain some control on his emotions. As he saw Ryo continued for the door, Dee ran to close off his escape. "Ryo, you can't fucking keep running away from this."

Ryo looked Dee straight in the eyes; his glare was cold and distant. "You tell me you love me, well then deal with how I am, or fuck off."

Dee jumped a little at the coldness, giving Ryo the space needed to leave the room. Dee leaned on the edge of the door as he watched Ryo head to the kitchen. "Ryo we need to fucking talk about this." No reply. Dee had reached the end of his rope. If he wouldn't deal, Dee was tired of trying to make him.

"Fuck it Ryo, I'm out of here." Dee grabbed his coat and slammed the door on the way out. He slumped against the door in the hallway, feeling his heart rip out. He stood up and reached for the doorknob, then stopped. He stared at the door and put his hand on it, as if trying to reach through the barrier. After a few minutes (an eternity) Dee willed himself to walk away.

At the same time, Ryo sat down on the kitchen floor his back to the counters. He put his head in his hands as tears slowly began to fall. 'What in the hell have I done?'

* * *

Bikky came in ready for dinner. Not smelling anything, he wondered if they had ordered out. He just knew the perv would be here. They both had the day off. He just hoped they were dressed. And would it be too much to ask that they keep some distance between them – like an inch or two. All that cuddling only reminded Bikky of what they did do now – Ughhh – erase that thought quickly, parents weren't suppose to do that.

Bikky's thoughts stopped mid stream. "Ryo?" Ryo was sitting on the kitchen floor, his arms crossed over his raised knees, his forehead resting against them. "Ryo, what's wrong?" Ryo glanced up at Bikky with red eyes.

"If that jerk is cheating on you, I'll kill him!" Bikky voice sounded mature beyond his eleven years, his blue eyes colder than any child's should be.

Ryo snorted out a chuckle, but it sounded a little deranged, like one of those horror movie laughs. "No, no this was my fault." Ryo's words were slow and spacey. "We were arguing . . . I . . ." Exactly what it was, Bikky never found out. Ryo shook his head. "Don't worry, Biks – I'll fix this somehow, I have to . . ." Although his words sounded stronger, his voice still broke.

Bikky just stood there, unsure of what to do. Then he tried to think of what he thought Ryo might do if he were sad. So he went over to his dad and sat on the floor, putting his arm around him. Ryo leaned into the hug, making Bikky feel as if it was the right move. Sitting back, Ryo ruffled his son's hair. "Thanks Bikky."

"Sure. And if that asshole won't listen to you, I'll kick his a . . .." A slight glare from Ryo changed Bikky's words, "…head until he does."

Ryo chuckled "Let's hope that's not necessary. What about burgers for dinner? We'll even go out for them," Ryo stated while getting up.

"Sure. Can Carol come? She's own her way over. I didn't think you'd mind if she came to dinner." Bikky rushed through the explanation.

"Yeah, I don't mind." Ryo shrugged and then smiled. "Let's get ready then."

* * *

Ryo tensed as he approached the office. He was running late and wondered if Dee was already here. Ryo saw the light on and steeled himself for whatever was about to happen.

A terse "morning" was all he heard from Dee as Ryo closed the door behind him. Ryo took off his jacket and begin to lay it across the back of his chair. He watched as Dee was reading over a file at his desk. Ryo took a breath and reached for his determination to set things right. "Dee, about last night, I'm sorry"

Dee cut him off. "Not now Ryo." He had glanced up at Ryo sharply, but then quickly dropped his gaze. "I don't want to . . .. " The phone rang cutting off his words. Both men sighed at the intrusion.

"Laytner speaking." Dee grabbed a pen as he listened and started to scrounge for a notepad. "Uh huh," he looked up at Ryo when the other man held a notepad in his line of vision. "Okay. Where?" Dee began to scribble down the information. "Yep, we're on it"

Looking back up at Ryo, Dee explained the call. "They found a body over in the Bronx that matches the M.O. for our Thompson case"

Ryo grabbed the coat he had just taken off. "Let's go." The talk would have to wait.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Did not create these characters. Sanami Matoh did. I am using them for my own pleasure. Thanks again to Totally4Ryo, late night chats and all. Rough language, sexual situations, and man on man (YAY). You have been warned.

Beginning again

"_Hey Ryo," Ryo heard his dad yelling from the living room._

"_In my room, Dad," Ryo yelled back, continuing to flip through his textbook._

_His Dad poked his head in Ryo's room "Hey, what's your plans for this weekend?"_

"_There's a soccer game on Saturday with some friends then maybe a movie that night – Jeff and Chris want to see some horror flick. Why?" Ryo peered up from his homework._

"_Thought we might head out to the shooting range, we could go Sunday?" Frank shrugged. "Hey, what about Ti, I haven't seen him around much lately?" He had asked the question before Ryo could answer the other._

_Ryo shrugged "We don't hang around much any more."_

"_You two didn't get into it did you?" His father looked concerned._

"_No," Ryo carefully kept his head down as if he was trying to continue with homework, "we just hang out with different friends now, that's all."_

"_Okay. So you game for Sunday?" The okay had sounded weak, but Ryo was determined to ignore it_

"_Sure sounds great." Ryo smiled at his dad and watched him leave, feeling the lies getting easier._

"Ryo, earth to Ryo"

Ryo blinked as his attention was drawn back to the present. "What? Sorry Bikky, I spaced out"

Carol smiled at him. "I'll say." She hoped Dee and him worked things out soon. This was her second burger out with Ryo and Bikky in four days, definitely not normal. Ryo usually liked to cook healthy meals, especially on his days off like today. He was always talking about trying to balance out the junk he knew they all ate at other times. Plus Bikky was worried. He tried not to show it, but he'd become attached to Dee, and Ryo just wasn't himself. "Just asked if you liked your burger?"

"It's good. I like the mushrooms," Ryo answered, smiling at Bikky as he made a face.

"Who could like mushrooms?" Bikky's face scrunched up as he stuck out his tongue at the thought.

"Me." Ryo smiled silently with his reply. He began to say more but fell silent, staring over them. Bikky and Carol looked up and followed the direction of his stare. Dee had just walked in, of all the places in NY, Carol thought. But maybe it wasn't too much of a coincidence. Ryo had seemed indecisive about where to go for lunch until Bikky mentioned this place.

Dee must have felt the stares because he looked over at their table. Ryo smiled timidly, holding his breath until Dee smiled back. Dee spoke to the waiter at the counter and then walked toward them.

"Hey guys! What are you all doing here in my neighborhood?"

"Bikky suggested it," Carol piped in. "They have good burgers here."

"Great minds think alike, huh Biks?" Dee teased. He gave a wink at Bikky, knowing choice of food was one of the few things they agreed on.

Bikky look down at his food. "Yeah, whatever." He knew Ryo had said it was his fault but Bikky was mad at the perv for obviously not forgiving Ryo and working things out. He didn't like seeing Ryo so sad.

Ryo glanced at Dee with an apologetic smile, noticing the concern on Dee's face. "Would you like to join us?"

Carol nodded her head in agreement.

"Sorry, I can't." Dee seemed regretful. "I, um, have plans with some friends of mine."

"Oh, that's right, you said something about that last week." Ryo noddedas he remembered Dee telling him about meeting up with an old friend before the fight. His smiled faltered slightly as his mind remembered that detail. Ryo tried to control the disappointment on his face. "Next time then." Ryo's smile widened to show Dee that he meant it.

"Hey, if you'll think you'll still be up," Dee paused a little, "I'll call." Dee actually seemed hesitant.

Ryo smiled widely. "Yeah, I'll be up"

"You'd better not wake me up, you old codger." Bikky glared up at Dee. He began to feel a little friendlier toward Dee since he was going to talk to Ryo.

"Like I could, ape brat. A bomb going off in your room couldn't wake you," Dee quipped back.

"Oh yeah." Bikky breathed in to let loose his next insult, saw Ryo's glare and breathed out.

"Bikky, that's enough. We are in a restaurant."

"Fine, whatever," and settled on a glare at Dee being his reply. He had to fight back the smile as Dee stuck his tongue out at him.

"Dee, don't tease him," Ryo said without thought.

Dee winked at him in reply. "I'll talk to you all later."

Ryo took in a deep breath as Dee walked back to the counter. He smiled as he let it out. He watched as Dee grabbed his order and waved bye to them. Dee would call. They would talk. After four days of nothing but professionalism from Dee, Ryo felt a huge surge of relief wash over him.

* * *

Dee glanced around the small room he and Elena had entered.

"Why in the hell did they take all this?" The shock on his face was evident as he took in the amount of items taken for the case.

"You're the detective, you tell me," Elena snapped backed. Dee actually backed away from the petite woman. "Sorry, I . . ." she dropped off the rest of her thought as her voice began to break.

"Don't worry." Dee hesitantly ran his hand down her back. When Elena didn't pull away he left his hand there for comfort.

Elena turned her face to Dee with a tight smile. "They wanted to make an example of this case, I think. They were bound and determined to link Ryo's parents to the drug ring, so they could bring down the whole syndicate or something. They confiscated most of his parent's assets, insisting that it was all made from drugs. Rick and I were young and just starting out- broke most of the time. We didn't have the money for a lawyer. And Ryo would have had to do the official filing and such. At first, I think he wanted to believe the cops would do the right thing, but as time went on . . ."

Elena looked back at the boxes on the table. With a determined sigh, she moved to take a lid off of the closest box and began to look through the books and paperwork. "By the time the state declared that his parents were not involved, his parents things had been sold. I tried to get Ryo to take action; I tried."

Elena sighed again and shook her head as she continued "As time went on, he just seem to close that part of his life off. He wouldn't talk about it, would leave the room if I tried, I –" Elena mouth stayed opened as she struggled for words to explain.

Dee moved closer and placed his hand on her arm, "I know."

As Elena recognized the look of frustration in his eyes, she forced a chuckle. "Well, we both know how stubborn he is."

Dee chuckled at that statement and shook his head in agreement. "Yeah we do."

"I know Ryo should be telling you all this." Elena looked away as she tried to begin an apology. "He'll probably be mad at us both. But I needed to get to this stuff. There might be something here that could help." Elena voice found that edge of determination again.

Dee sighed, "This wouldn't be the first time I've had to find out second hand." The frustration Dee felt was barely concealed.

"What are we looking for?" Dee asked as he mentally pulled himself back to the task at hand. They only had the afternoon, after that Diana would have to return the evidence. And since Ryo wouldn't deal, he would just have to deal with Ryo later.

* * *

Ryo jumped when the phone rang, even though he'd been staring at it all evening. "Hello?"

"Hey," was all he heard, but Dee's voice made him want to jump for joy.

"Hey, yourself" Ryo replied unsure of what to say. "I'm glad you called. I'd like for us to talk." Ryo said all this with one breath.

"Me too, but maybe not over the phone." Dee voice sounded strained.

"Sure." Ryo waited again unsure of how to proceed.

"Maybe we could . . .." Ryo heard the yawn in Dee's voice.

"You need some sleep," he said, his own voice giving way to a yawn.

Dee chuckled. "Yeah so do you.

"You know," Ryo started tentatively, " I was sort of glad to see you coming into the office looking tired. Not that I wanted you to be tired, but it felt good to know that this was bothering you too." His voice came out small and unsure.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I was scared you might want to just move on or something." Dee sounded distant, hesitant about what say as well.

"No Dee. I want to work on this. I need you in my life more than just as a coworker." Ryo heard Dee sigh. To reassure Dee and himself, Ryo added, "I love you, Dee."

"I love you too, Ryo." Dee's voice was soft but sure, then he paused. "How about tomorrow night, unless you have plans."

"No, no plans. Tomorrow night is good. We have a mid shift the next day. I'll see if Bikky can spend the night at a friends." Ryo spoke quickly to again assure Dee he was all for talking.

Dee snorted "You mean Carol's."

"Probably, if her Aunt hasn't gotten tired of him yet." Ryo smirked unconsciously with his answer.

Ryo heard Dee chuckle again "When are you going to start worrying about the sleepovers?"

"When I start finding Playboys under his mattress or find myself locked out of the bathroom more than once a day," Ryo replied dryly chuckling to himself at the end of the comment.

Ryo heard Dee laughing out loud, giving him a smile. "It's good to hear you laugh."

"Yeah, it's feels good to laugh." Dee's voice softened but sounded lighter. "Well I'll see you tomorrow, kay and we'll talk tomorrow night." Dee paused. "I love you Ryo."

"I love you too, Dee. Goodnight." Ryo heard the phone click, but held onto the hope that he allowed to grow a little more in his chest.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you for the lovely reviews. I hoped someone would enjoy this as much as I did writing it.

Disclaimer: Did not create these characters. Sanami Matoh did. I am using them for my own pleasure. Thanks again to Totally4Ryo, late night chats and all. Rough language, sexual situations, and man on man (YAY). You have been warned.

The Makeup?

Ryo and Dee had decided to meet at Dee's after work. Dee was on the phone placing an order for Chinese when he let Ryo in the door. Ryo took off his coat and went to sit on the couch while Dee finished the call.

"I ordered some egg drop soup, since it's getting a little chilly outside." Ryo nodded and Dee turned to the fridge. "Beer, wine, soda . . ." Dee let the question hang.

"Beer will be fine." Ryo glanced around the apartment, taking in the different magazines, books and junk mail lying around on tabletops. Dee handed him a bottle and sat down on the couch beside him. Ryo noticed the tension in the air as silence filled the room, but was at a lose for how to begin. It was his fault; he knew he should start. Taking a deep breath, Ryo steeled himself to talk. "Dee, I . . . I'm sorry for not talking, not being able to talk, but if it helps, it's not just you."

"Yeah, I know." Ryo looked up at Dee in confusion. "Elena told me you won't talk to her either."

"Elena?" The confusion in Ryo's voice was evident. "When did you talk to Elena?" Ryo's voice held an edge at the last of the question, as his brain snapped into place that they had been talking about him.

"Yesterday – after I saw you at the diner. She was the friend I was meeting." Dee almost winced at the glare coming from Ryo.

"Oh, so the two of you decide to get together to talk about what to do about me?" Ryo's voice was cold.

"No, it wasn't like that, just listen to the whole story before you tear my head off, okay." Ryo only raised that one damn infuriating eyebrow. So Dee took a breath to spill the whole story. "Look, this meeting was planned a while ago, in fact the day you had lunch with her to tell her about us was the day she called."

"My aunt just called out of the blue to meet with you?" Sarcasm dripped in Ryo's voice.

"Just listen will ya. She called right after your lunch. Before you got to the station. She," Dee took a deep breath, "wanted to find something that they took into evidence of your dad's. She wanted to surprise you." Ryo got up from the couch and moved to stand in front of the window seat. Dee began to talk faster, wanting to get it all out before Ryo exploded. "Diana helped arranged getting us in to look at the evidence, all of it is down at 1PP since the majority of the murders took place in Manhattan. Elena met me there and I helped her look. She didn't tell me why she was looking for it. Only why she came to me. That you wouldn't talk about your parents death or any thing surrounding it. That you wouldn't go and reclaim the evidence. She's worried you never will." Dee seemed to run out of steam. He took a breath and tried to gauge Ryo's reaction.

Ryo was still, very still. Not a good sign for Dee. "So you and my aunt took it upon yourselves to go through my father's things." Ryo's voice broke at the thought of his father despite the hardness it started out with. A short pause brought the cold edge back. "Behind my back to talk about what? How to fix me? I'm some broken thing you all need to fix?"

"No" Dee looked up in confusion wonder where that idea had come from. "She asked for my help. I helped her. We did talk about you because we love you, dumb ass. We both want for you to let us in. I want for you to let me in." Dee stopped himself to take a breath, his anger was getting the better of him and he tried to gain some control. "Talk to me." The plea was evident in his voice.

Dee waited but ended up only with silence. 'Great, we get together to try to work on things and it ends up getting worse.' Dee pushed that thought away. They would make it through this. Dee pushed his hand through his hair, as his muscles tensed with the lingering silence. 'God damn it'. Dee snapped.

"Look, you got that damn stubbornness from somewhere. I want to know where. You got that volatile temper from somewhere, and I want to know that too.

"Your parents weren't perfect. No one is. But it's those imperfections that made you. I want to know about them.

"You know how much of a half ass cop Jesse was. But that made me who I am today. You and Mother see to it that I don't forget that often enough.If you had a problem with your parents I want to help you see that, too. But I want to hear it from you. Not Rose, not Elena, you.

"God damn it, Ryo, you once told me you wanted to know everything about me. Why can't I find out everything about you?" Dee finally paused.

Ryo was still too angry at Dee and Elena's interference to let it go, even if Dee's word were making sense. He still felt too much of the haze of fury that wouldn't allow him access to any other thought or emotion. Still wrapped in that haze, Ryo lashed out. "Fine, you want to know about my parents. My Dad would have hated you." Between the word hate and the venom in Ryo's voice, Dee looked startled. "He would have hated you and me." Ryo looked down at the floor, not wanting to see any pain in Dee's face. "He would have disowned me . . ." Ryo couldn't finish, so he dug back into his anger. "Isn't that what you wanted to hear. My Dad hated fags, gays, homos. And that would include us. Does that make you feel better, Dee?" Ryo turned away. He hadn't wanted to hurt Dee. He didn't want to feel the pain in his chest. And so help him if Dee tried to say he could be wrong like Elena and Rick had, he'd swear he'd flip him on his ass.

"Okay," the word came from Dee hesitantly. "Yeah, I guess that does make me feel better." Ryo spun to stare at Dee, his face showing his bewilderment. Dee looked calm. "I mean, I don't feel like jumping up and down for joy or anything. But a least now I understand why you're hesitant to talk about them. Like I said, it makes you who you are and I love you." Dee took a few tentative steps closer to Ryo. "I'm sorry he felt that way and that you know he felt that way."

Ryo closed his eyes to try to hold back tears. He felt Dee next to him but remained frozen until Dee's arms went around him. Dee sighed in relief as Ryo leaned into him. "Now that was only one part of your dad, so tell me something else about him . . . like did you learn that glare of death from him?" Dee's voice was tight with control, trying hard to sound casual.

After a deep breath Ryo finally melted into Dee more. "That was my Mom actually. Dad was completely whipped by her." He smiled slightly as he heard Dee chuckle.

"So if we all try to find our moms in relationships then you're wanting to be whipped by me." Hearing the warmth in Dee's voice, Ryo mentally laughed at that thought.

"You wish, Laytner" Ryo snapped back and chuckled lightly enjoying the feel of Dee's body shaking with laughter as well.

Ryo pulled back to look at Dee's face. "I'm sorry Dee. It's just hurts."

"Hey I'm sorry I rushed you. I know you. It takes you years to work things out." Dee eyes twinkled with mischief as he dragged out the word years.

Ryo rolled his eyes, but didn't comment. It was too close to the truth. "I think I got that from my mom as well." Ryo leaned back into Dee, placing his head on Dee's shoulder.

"So all your bad traits come from your Mom," Dee countered.

Ryo chuckled, thinking about how Elena would have agreed with that. "Except my temper. That's pure MacLean." After a brief smile, Ryo pulled away from Dee. "Thank you"

Dee leaned down for a kiss, soft and gentle. "Thank you for sharing, for being you and for loving me." Dee kissed Ryo again, his lips becoming more insistent. Ryo grabbed onto Dee's shoulders to keep upright, and felt Dee give a little bit.

"Perhaps we should move to the bedroom." Ryo's voice was rasping with breaths.

"Thank God for make-up sex." Dee mumbled before moving his lips down to Ryo's neck as Ryo tried to guide their bodies to a soft place to collapse.

* * *

"So what did Elena take?" Ryo hesitance was obvious in his voice. He buried his head against Dee's shoulder to avoid his gaze, hoping to make hearing the answer easier.

"She was looking for your Dad's journal or something. I didn't ask for details." Dee tried to rub away the tension that he felt in Ryo's shoulders.

"Journals? Huh – I didn't know Dad kept a journal. I know Mom did but the cops didn't . . ." Ryo's voice dropped and Dee tightened his arm around Ryo. Part of Dee wanted to try to get Ryo to continue, but that would come with time. At least he was starting to talk. Dee kissed the top of the chestnut hair lying against his shoulder.

Dee leaned back against the pillows, enjoying the comforting silence, as Elena popped into his head. "Hey, go easy on Elena, okay – she just cares about you"

Ryo leaned up on his forearms to look up. When Dee's hand moved his hair out of his face, he smiled slightly. "Look, part of me is still mad about you and her meeting behind my back." Ryo placed a finger on Dee's lips before he could interrupt. He glanced down at the cover, took a deep breath and looked back into Dee's gaze. "But I was being a bit of a bastard, so don't worry, I'll go easy on her." Dee leaned over and moved his lips softly against Ryo's, his lips giving and asking for forgiveness. As Dee pulled back, Ryo sighed and collapsed back to Dee's chest.

"Your awfully concerned about my aunt." Ryo emphasized the word my, looking over up at Dee.

"She called me family. I always worry about family." Ryo smiled at the nonchalance Dee had tried to put into that statement.

"Family huh? It's a good thing I intend to keep you if everybody else is becoming so attached." Ryo's smile grew on his face as he spoke.

Dee just chuckled and replied with a kiss.


	8. Chapter 8

Epilogue

"Elena, this is Ryo again. It's Wednesday night; we're all safe. I'm sorry I seem to keep missing you. You know, I understand, I'm not angry."

A beep sounded in his ear warning him that the machine had stopped recording. "Damn". He had tried to call Elena the day after Dee and he had talked, but he had reached her machine. Later that day, he received a message from Elena that all was well, but he hadn't actually talked to her. Now, four weeks later, he was still playing phone tag and had not reached her directly. He sighed and headed back to the couch.

Dee looked up from the video game he and Bikky were playing, with concern.

"Still no luck?"

"No," Ryo sat down and picked his book back up. "Maybe, you should try, she did say she liked you." The sarcasm not quiet covering over the slight pain in his voice.

"Pay attention, you dork. Can't you see how bad I'm kicking your butt?" Bikky smacked his elbow into Dee, in case the verbal didn't work.

"Yeah, yeah, hit pause for minute, squirt." Dee was still looking at Ryo with concern.

Bikky complied readily after Dee ignored the hit. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing major, Biks," Ryo tried to sooth Bikky's concern. "Elena and I need to talk and we just keep missing each other on the phone."

"Maybe, she wants to find what she was looking for," Dee mused, "before you two talk."

"Yeah, your probably right. Maybe I should go up and visit her." Ryo

"Hey you could take me up for a weekend?" Bikky interrupted. "That would be awesome to hang with her for a weekend."

"We would need to plan that, Biks, but I'll talk to her about when you could go up." Ryo smiled. "Don't worry, we'll catch each other sooner or later."

Bikky turned back to restart the game but Dee's eyes remained on Ryo. Ryo rolled his eyes. "I'll call everyday until I do, don't worry."

Dee gave a smile before turning back to the screen.

Ryo was just getting home from an early shift when he received the package. Dee and Bikky were out playing basketball, giving Ryo some alone time. He had been planning to look on-line for possibilities for Dee's Finding Day present, but those thoughts fled, as he looked at the package. He opened it quickly seeing Elena's name as the sender. Inside were two envelopes: one large manila envelope and one letter size. Elena had penned a request on the smaller envelope to open first. Inside was a note on blue stationary paper.

Dear Ryo,

I am sorry for avoiding direct conversation with you for so long, but it took longer to get this project done than I thought it would. Yes, I have been avoiding your phone calls, but not because I thought you might be angry. I just didn't want to try and explain before I was able to give you this. Your mom confided in me often, and Frank even mentioned it to me once about a boy they thought you had a crush on. I knew Frank kept a journal, and hoped to find entries about that time. I hope you can forgive me for prying into your life. I hope this is explanation enough. Call after you have looked at it and we'll plan to get together again. Tell that handsome man and boy in your life hello for me.

Love

Elena

He looked at the envelope thoughtfully, as he walked to his bedroom. He had laid it on the bed, while he changed into his favorite jeans and T-shirt. When he had called to ask for extra time alone, Dee had immediately offered to take Bikky out for dinner, so Ryo wouldn't have any interruptions. He smiled as he thought of Dee's concern and the promise Dee had demanded of Ryo to call if he finished before they got back.

Ryo's hands were trembling as he opened the envelope. He pulled out the photocopied pages from within the envelope. The pages were copies of lined hand written journal entries, each page dated at the top. Ryo leaned against the pillows propped up on his headboard and began to read.

6/29/88

Thank god I finally got Yuri to agree to limit the boyfriends that James' brings over. I found him snogging that bounder of the month yesterday in our living room with hands down each other's pants. I was furious. Ryo could have walked in at anytime. I will not have my son walking in on porn in the living room. Yuri was as furious as I was. I did have to admit that this type of behavior was a first for James. I tried to tell Yuri that he should curb his innuendoes around Ryo. But she's always like he's just trying to get a rise out of me and be cool to Ryo. And he's never really taken it too far. I know he's had a difficult life, but it isn't an excuse for being a stubborn, pain in the ass, bastard. I wish he had kept that last boyfriend, Kyle, I think. He wasn't too bad a guy.

3/10/92

God, I hope Ryo did not hear that argument. Could Yuri be right? Could there be a possibility he is ? God, I can't even write the word. I just keep seeing pictures of Ryo turning into James, being obvious to piss people off, having a different boyfriend each month.

I know I will still love him. I know, Yuri so pissed. This will take some time for her to get over. I can always hope for two months. I know she's identifies with not being accepted. I would never disown Ryo, I…. He can't be gay. So he's close to Titus. I don't want my son to be.

Hell, if he is, I hope he's like Yuri and it takes him time to figure it out. Because I'm going to need time to accept, I keep hearing it's wrong screaming in the back of my head. But that was the church not . . .

I don't know I hope he's not.

5/21/92

Well, he said he didn't hear the argument, but it's two months later and he never mentions Titus. I even tried asking him. Yuri keeps telling me it was a crush, but I really want to believe she's just too much a fan girl to see the truth. I tried to joke with her like that. Wrong move, nope two months not long enough. I wish I could tell her and Ryo that I could care less. My inner evil vacillates between it's wrong, and I don't want him to put up with the hatred. Well I don't want him to have to deal with the hatred, but Yuri's right. He's had plenty of practice with prejudiced people, including both of our families. We are married against both families' wishes and I would not give Yuri up for anyone. That I do understand. That's the reason I put up with James. That's the reason I know I will always love Ryo and try to accept whatever he is. She's seems accepting of me. I will love him no matter what. That, at least, is a promise I can keep.

"Are you ready Ryo?" Dee stared at Ryo as if to answer the question himself, in case he felt he had gotten the wrong answer.

Ryo just smiled at the concern, "Almost, can you just give me a moment alone?"

Dee squeezed his hand, "Sure, I'll be over at the car."

Ryo looked back at the head stones. This was the first time he'd been back to his parents' graves since his mom's funeral. As he turned to leave, he heard a yell from the opposite direction.

"Randy?" Ryo turned back to see a small man with unruly salt and pepper curls walking toward him, with a large bouquet of lilies. The man walked over and placed the bouquet on his parents' graves. "James?" The surprise at seeing this ghost from his past visible.

"I knew I'd finally see you here. I was just visiting Seth. Do you remember him? He was my boyfriend when your parents died."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know . . .

"Yeah about 3 years ago, the virus finally won, but we were together until the end. Your Mom would have been proud of me that I settled down. I visit him about once a month and always stop by to say hello to the folks. Just knew that when you had accomplished your goal, you'd come and visit. So are they going to be someone's ass bitch forever?" Bitterness tinged James' voice at his final statement.

Ryo blinked and looked back at the headstones. "They're dead." His voice was flat and even.

"You didn't . . ."

"No" Ryo stopped him before he could suggest an opinion, "it just happened that way, but one of them confessed to it being a mistake."

"Good, Lily wouldn't have wanted you to murder for her. Your Dad either, for that matter. God I miss them." James smiled and then started to chuckle. "Do you remember Kyle? I guess you were around 12, did you know I think he was the only boyfriend that your dad missed more than I did? He and your father actually sat around, drinking beers and watching sports. As long as I didn't hug Kyle, kiss Kyle, touch Kyle or bring up the fact he was my boyfriend, your Dad thought he was great. He moped for about a week when we split up."

Ryo looked up at James confused and intrigued. " I sort of remember," but then became frustrated as his look at the past again took a corkscrew turn. "I . . . I couldn't say, I'm having to readjust my memories right now. They seem to have become unreliable."

"How come?" James raced on as always, not worrying if the other person would be willing to answer.

A smile formed on Ryo's face as he glanced back toward the car and found Dee leaning on the hood. "I found him." Ryo gave a small nod of his head to indicate where he was looking.

James turned to see the man beside the car. "Nice," obvious appreciation in his voice, a little too obvious in Ryo's opinion.

"He's mine," Ryo growled.

James just chuckled. "Okay, gotcha," drawing a smile from Ryo.

"Thought you might join the ranks. Mark said you stared long enough. God was Lily pissed about that when I told her. I was trying to apologize and almost got kicked out of the best family I had. I had to promise no boyfriends for a while and then none that I hadn't dated for at least two months. That was almost never." James actually took a pause to breathe and looked down at the headstones.

"I miss them, even your father. He put up with a lot of my crap. Part of me felt like your older rebellious brother. I think I was trying to make him throw me out. Because I was so good for my own Dad, except of course, I like dick." James paused to chuckle, "Still blushing, I see.

"Well anyway, I loved him as much as I loved Lily because I didn't give him much to like and he put up with me and my boyfriends.

"Hell, for you," James nodded his head toward Dee with this statement, "he'd become your man's best friend."

Ryo smiled down at the grave, "Yeah, he probably would have." He looked back to James, suddenly very glad the man had popped up today. "We're meeting Elena for dinner, would you like to come, that way you can meet Dee, and we could catch up?"

"Sure, I loved to meet the fag who got you to figure it out," Ryo started shaking his head and breathing in deeply, but a small smile crossed his face as the older man rambled on. "I never figured you'd go for the macho type, Randy, I figured you'd be a top . . ."


End file.
